For many parents, the idea of their teen using marijuana might not raise the same level of concern as harder drugs. Some may even believe it’s a harmless phase or a safer alternative to alcohol. But today’s marijuana is not the same substance parents may have experimented with decades ago — and its impact on adolescent development is real, significant, and sometimes devastating.
At Stonewater Adolescent Recovery Center, the clinical team works with families every day who missed the early signs, misunderstood the risk, or simply didn’t know what to look for. This blog is your guide to recognizing marijuana use in your teen and knowing how to respond effectively.
“It’s easier for them often to access marijuana than it is for them to access alcohol,” says Elizabeth Fikes, Co-Founder and Director of Outreach. “And because it’s legal in so many places, there’s a false sense of safety that surrounds it.”
In reality, today’s marijuana can be up to 20 times more potent than the flower commonly used in past decades. And thanks to vaping devices and edibles, it’s now more discreet than ever — harder for parents to detect, and easier for teens to hide.
As Jeff Noles, Clinical Director at Stonewater, explains, “We tend to focus on the dramatic moments — catching them in the act — but the most telling signs are often changes in behavior over time.”
Key red flags may include:
A drop in academic performance or motivation
Changes in friend groups or increased secrecy
Mood swings, irritability, or apathy
Sudden increase in use of air fresheners, incense, or cologne
Paraphernalia like vape pens, lighters, or eye drops
Withdrawing from family or previously enjoyed activities
Sometimes, these shifts are subtle at first — and that’s what makes early detection so important.
Parents often fear that bringing up marijuana will either alienate their child or “put ideas in their head.” But Bryan Fikes, CEO and Co-Founder, urges early engagement: “If they’re 12, you should probably be having some conversations.”
The key is to talk — not lecture. Ask questions. Be curious. Avoid shame-based language. Teens are far more likely to engage when they feel respected rather than accused.
Start with something like:
“Hey, I know there’s a lot of talk about weed being natural or safe. What do you hear about it at school?”
“How do you feel about friends who vape or use marijuana?”
“What would you do if someone offered it to you?”
These open-ended questions encourage dialogue and create an environment where your teen can talk without fear of punishment.
Discovering that your teen is using marijuana can be alarming. But don’t panic — and don’t assume they’re “too far gone.” As Noles emphasizes, “We see kids completely turn things around all the time, especially when intervention happens early.”
Steps you can take:
Stay calm and curious. Express concern, not anger.
Set clear boundaries. Explain your expectations and consequences moving forward.
Seek professional support. A counselor or therapist can help your teen explore what’s driving the use.
Focus on the underlying issues. Teens often use marijuana to manage anxiety, trauma, or depression.
At Stonewater, Elizabeth and our team see incredible success stories every day. “The adolescent brain is so plastic — so able to change,” she says. “When we give teens the right tools and support, we see a level of transformation that’s truly inspiring.”