Trying to figure out the best way to parent your teenager can be difficult to gauge and sometimes even harder to adjust. One minute they may be demanding your full attention and the next moment they may be asking you to talk to the hand. The hot and cold behavior can be confusing and sometimes tumultuous depending on their current mood.
Teens certainly like to push the limits of their newfound independence. When you say no they will argue back or go behind your back to do as they please. When this happens, you may feel like you have no fight in you to deal with the attitude that is usually fueled by the hormonal changes that are occurring in them.
The main goal of your relationship is to balance the freedom they desire with the guidelines that you have set for them. During your search for this balance, you may find your teen lying or doing things that you do not approve of. Obviously, your teenager is way too old for time out. They would probably gladly rather go to their room than have to deal with you giving them consequences to their actions. Deciding what their currency is and strategically using it against them in the name of discipline can instill life lessons they still need to learn into them. The point is to send a clear message to your teen that their behavior is no longer going to fly.
Tighten the rules
If they come home late for curfew, then you should make curfew even earlier. Explain to them that they are showing you that they cannot handle the freedom that you are giving them.
Offer reparation
When your teen breaks something or inappropriately flies off the handle, push them to make amends for their harms as soon as possible. You are showing them how to accept responsibility for their misbehavior so they can immediately repair what they have done and build some character in the process.
Remove their currency
Depending on the teen, there is usually one thing that makes them motivated in life, like a phone, the internet, or virtual money. Taking away this currency will not be easy but may be necessary to get them to understand how serious you are. For this to work, you must remain consistent in your method or they will never respect your disciplinary actions.
Being strategic with discipline means that you should be rational and unwavering. Your teen needs your parental guidance, not a pushover, to help them to be the dutiful individual society needs them to be.
If you or an adolescent you know needs to get help for drug or alcohol abuse, Stonewater Adolescent Recovery Center can give you the guidance that you deserve. Establishing a strong network of family and community can reinforce practices for living substance free.
Call us today to start living in your recovery: 662-598-4214
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