Am I Enabling My Adolescent?
Trying to provide a better life for your kids than what you had is a universal characteristic for many parents. In the process, you may find yourself spoiling your adolescent here and there for good grades, helping around the house, or just because. While this kind of behavior is good as a reward tactic, enabling your kids bad behavior could happen just as easy.
A teenager that is has developed a substance abuse disorder can very easily take over and run the household. Once this happens, it can seem very difficult to take charge once again. You may slip into a routine of enabling your teen so “things can run smoothly”. The problem is during this time, the whole household is negatively affected by your teenager’s addiction because there are no consequences in place. You must start somewhere to get control and today is the day you should begin.
Get the support you need
Find others that have gone through what you are going through and take some new action. Attending support groups like Al-Anon and CoDA is a great place to start. The main focus they promote is to set healthy boundaries with a loved one.
Be the parent
Your teenager needs you to lead them in the right direction. Things may have been out of control up to this point, but you can turn it around at any time. This does not mean that your teen will automatically get sober. All this means is that you can create some stability in the house and give your teen the consequences they need to understand that you will not be cosigning their bad behavior any longer.
Let them hit bottom
No parent wants to see their child struggle. The only thing that is going to get your adolescent sober is knowing that they do not have a soft place to fall when they are not doing the right thing. Hitting bottom is one of the only ways they can go up and receive the help that they need.
Have a grateful heart
Feeling sorry for yourself could be very easy because your teen’s substance abuse probably creates a chaotic atmosphere. Being grateful for what you have can give you the perspective you need to be a good example for your family and for your teen who is having a harder time getting sober. Good attitudes and good behavior can start with you.
Enabling is a normal knee jerk reaction when you are trying to protect your adolescent from drugs and alcohol abuse even though it is toxic for everyone involved. Start with getting some help for yourself, so that you can get some help for your teenager.
Stonewater Adolescent Recovery Center has a program that can help the whole family to begin to heal. We offer essential recovery support skills to show the teen and their family how to implement a strong network that can reinforce healthy living.
Call us today to learn how you can help your teen: 662-598-4214